The Tams - "Hey Girl Don't Bother Me"

"Hey 'Hey Girl Don't Bother Me,' don't bother me!", I implore the song, knowing full well it's too late, my position having been already compromised. By three-quarters-way through the song's first bar, I've already been made a dubious confidant of a confider either disingenuous or self-delusional - an unenviable position I'm sure we've all occupied at some point. A friend tells us that he or she is absolutely, finally done with his or her boyfriend or girlfriend, over it!, will not be hurt anymore. And we suppress our bitter laughter, bite our tongues, even though we've heard the same so many times before. No, we don't believe what we hear - and not just because we're ontological skeptics, and certainly not because we mistakenly believe in the unassailability of inductive proofs - but because we're wise, or perhaps just not foolish in love like our friend here, with whom, quite frankly, we're running out of patience. The resolve that Mr. Tams presents at the beginning of his song is a front; the conceit of the first verse - that he is repudiating, based on principle alone, the advances of the notoriously unfaithful, but undeniably sexy young woman at issue - is equally untrue. By the end of the song, Mr. Tams has all but articulated the futility of his resistance. Even as the steadfast and cool high-hat beat reinforces the distance between our protagonists, a clarinet sings impending romance, and, in a haunting minor, hints at its ugly, inevitable end.

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